• What If You Stopped Believing Your Bad Habits Are Bad?

    coffee beans and crumbs on a plate
    image by basswulf

    “I really need to start leaving some food on my plate. I always eat every last bite. I probably eat so much food I don’t actually need just because it’s there…”

    I was saying this to myself in my head the other night after dinner. I’ve said it many times. But that night, for whatever reason, some part of my brain argued back:

    “Why? Why do I need to stop clearing my plate? I’m not even a little bit overweight. I eat mostly healthy foods. Is eating everything I’m served–by myself or others–really an issue? Maybe I’m filling my plate up […] Continue Reading…

  • How I Know He’s “The One”

    flowers spelling out I Love You
    image by @Doug88888

    Note: Another sappy Valentine’s Day post from me this year. Who am I?

    John doesn’t believe in “The One,” which is fine and sounds more harsh than it is. Specifically, he doesn’t believe two people are undeniably destined for each other, that they’re this perfectly-matched pair that the universe is set on bringing together so they can begin this beautiful, effortless relationship, and continue to mesh magically till the end of their days, living happily ever after. Which is to say, he thinks no relationship is perfect and every relationship takes a lot of hard work, compromise, sacrifice, and the […] Continue Reading…

  • They’re Wrong About Pessimists

    multiple paths
    image by hockadilly

    “You’re always so negative.”

    “Look on the bright side.”

    “Nothing pleases you.”

    So-called pessimists are used to hearing this kind of talk from family and friends. I should know–most of those closest to me consider me more or less a pessimist, and never fail to remind me of it.

    I’ve always kind of felt they were a little off in their evaluation, though. Like, a naturally negative person? Me? It doesn’t seem right. My observations don’t seem negative to me; they just seem real. They just reflect reality. And besides, if I really pressed them on it, I know the same people calling me […] Continue Reading…